Random School Rambling

School started just three weeks ago, on August 2nd, and I've been quite busy since. I've got Spanish, Engineering, Pre-Calc, and Food to deal with. Being back to school is tough but I'm very glad I'm in the school building instead of on a Zoom call at home. 

I majorly flunked last year, especially the 2nd semester. I had no motivation to do any work, I was distracted 24/7, most classes were boring and monotonous, and the format of meetings were strange and new. Everything combined made 9th grade an absolute slog. I don't even know how the hell I managed to pass but I eventually did. It's the worst I've ever performed in school ever. 

Now, I'm confident that I'll excel in 10th grade. Don't know if that'll happen though.

First of all, I'm lagging behind in Spanish by quite a bit. I can't get my conjugations down, but I'm not finding enough time to practice them. I want to get to a level where I can speak it, but at this rate, I don't see that happening soon.

Engineering isn't that bad actually. I'm a bit slow in putting things down on my notebook but I catch up pretty easily. The teacher is pretty cool actually.

Math is fine. Like, just fine. I'm doing fine. The work is fine. It's just... fine. At least it isn't horrible.

Food is pretty interesting since we cook dishes with a group every Tuesday. Most of them are ass, but it's edible. It's an easy class as well. 

I just need to get in my head that I can't slack off anymore. This is technically my first time in a high school so I have to take shit seriously. I don't really care about going to college or getting a scholarship, I just want to pass with good marks. Before, school was a chore and nothing more. I got done with school, then I'd play games. But now? I know everything I learn is gonna be of some use to me in the future. I know this is a turning point in my life. If I mess up, I'll be set back extremely far. Pressure from my parents doesn't help either. They want me in college badly, and they are kind of strict about my grades. 

College scares me a little. If I ever go to one, I have no idea what I'd major in. Software? Art? What if they don't teach me what I want to know? Is it a waste of money? What happens if I drop out and have a shitton of debt? It makes me not want to go to college but if I don't will I get a good job? Can I really develop a skill at home and live off Patreon or something? Now that I'm thinking of the future I'm ten times more dreadful.

This is too much.

My math textbook work is due Monday.

- Bede